Fuck Me 'Till I'm Dead

I hit page 200 in my manuscript.  Of course, the chapter I'm writing now is more like a stream of consciousness and needs a ton of work.  Earlier, the whole chapter made perfect sense when I was on the elliptical at the gym and now I'm having a hell of a time getting it on paper.  It is such a struggle to make this happen. 

Do you like my blog transformation?  I think it's easier on the eyes to have a more neutral blog.  That was another thing I did while I was in procrastination mode. 

I'm feeling very angry and stressed right now.  I wanted to have more accomplished by now, like the entire story so that I could just work on editing.  I have at least six more chapters to write.

I honestly don't know how people do this for a living.  It's so much sitting in one place.  They must have bursts of energy where they write a lot in a short period of time and are able to separate it from the rest of their lives.  I am not that type of personality.  I was trying to have a conversation today and I kept losing focus on what the other person was saying and even drifted off with what I was saying because I was trying to hear the ideas for the book that were in my head too.  Everything is a fucking distraction.  Am I going to end up with Alzheimer's?  How do you get that? 

People all around me are getting one sickness or another.  Everyone's got some kind of problem.  Mine is that I am never going to finish the book if I don't get back to work.